16 Days in WA: Meet the raft of men who have chosen to step up in the fight against domestic violence

A raft of men ranging from students to retirees have chosen to step up in the fight against domestic violence, helping to redefine what it means to be a man in the 2020s. The men — who have each instigated ways to address family domestic violence — are calling on their male peers to also help combat the epidemic. Indigenous leader Rohan Collard runs six cultural programs for boys aged 8 to 16 through his Dooga Waalitj Healing centre, which include workshops about coercive control and other forms of FDV. The programs involve first-hand accounts from women about the impact violence has had on them. “They need to understand it before they fall into the trap of using it,” he said. Mr Collard said domestic abuse had fallen into the painful void left behind as his people lost touch with their traditional culture, in which men were deemed protectors. The void was worsened by historical tragedies like the mass incarceration and death of indigenous males at Rottnest Island. Not only had these tragedies left generations without a male role model, but had added to the intergenerational trauma experienced by mourning women and children. Mr Collard said re-connecting indigenous men with country helped to return them to their traditional instincts - which was to care and to protect. He believes these instincts had been broadly disrupted by their removal of his people from their ancestral land, and by bans on hunting and gathering on it, since the time of the First Fleet. “I take men to significant sites and they see how connection to country is important to their sense of healing,” he said. “Non-Aboriginal people may go camping and think, ‘isn’t this great’, but it is different to the way we feel it as custodians of country.” He said he sought to empower his people with a message about Aboriginal resilience and survival - innate qualities that would ultimately help them get through their own challenges. Paul Litwin, who started a group called Men’s Talk after losing three male friends to suicide, said outdated stereotypes about masculinity involving brute strength and domination were slowly giving way to an understanding that a good man is empathetic and respectful. “Ultimately, being a real man today is about living authentically and contributing positively to the world,” he said. His programs, which include mental health and wellbeing hubs in Scarborough and Busselton, seek to undo the concept of toxic masculinity like the type being espoused by influencer Andrew Tate. A belief that older men have a role to play in helping younger men find their way belies Men’s Talk programs, which connect younger men with senior role models, ranging from retired judges to senior tradies. “We need to introduce positives to go against the negatives, like Andrew Tate,” he said. He said young men involved in domestic violence, usually as the perpetrator, sometimes contacted the centre for help. Collaborating with Communicare, they were put through programs to help them process anger and disappointment in a healthy way. “I’ve been a teacher for over 30 years years and something I can clearly see is that our young men are very lost,” he said. “They are lost in who they are and who their role models are. “We have a problem.” University student Haseeb Riaz co-founded MAN UP WA with Gareth Shantikumar to help redefine masculinity in the 2020s, with peer-to-peer workshops helping other male youths deal with negative emotions, navigate healthy relationships and discover how to help friends in a rough patch. They were issues the pair had to learn to navigate on their own, which more often than not, left them realising that outdated stereotypes were harmful to their well-being. Their goal now is to help their peers become good men with appropriate responses, rather than toxic displays of masculinity. Former Olympian Deane Pieters is seeking to combat domestic violence by addressing one of the key drivers of physical and financial abuse — problem gambling. The gambling harm reduction program will run through Perth Football League — led by Andrew Dawe — as well as the Victorian Amateur Football League and the Adelaide Football League next year. Mr Pieters said it utilises the special influence that football coaches have on young men, which is often stronger than the role played by friends, teachers and family. Australians spend more per capita on legal forms of gambling, equivalent to $1555 a year, compared to anywhere in the world, with gambling-related harm costing $7 billion in Australia annually. “Gambling is an epidemic - like domestic violence,” he said. “It targets the vulnerable and it is big business.” Mr Pieters said being a good man in the 2020s involves having empathy, supporting equity, having respect for all relationships and showing zero tolerance for discrimination, harm and gender-based violence. Retiree Geoff Brayshaw stepped up in the fight against domestic violence after noticing an absence of men speaking out against it. He began a campaign in what he calls his “diminishing sphere of influence”, writing to groups involved in the business and sporting world, encouraging them to adopt programs to recognise and combat domestic violence. He also campaigns to encourage others to offer one of most basic and most important forms protection — safe shelter — by offering their own investment properties to women escaping DV. The tenants are found through women’s refuge Orana House, who provide wrap-around services to the women to help them get back on their feet. Offering his two units at a steep discount, he said it has helped two women and children leave anger, abuse and toxicity behind.